I have a confession to make.
I had a moment of weakness…
I have been going to the Magic Realm to work on my magical skills, seak to the Sages, and to learn. While I was there, I received a message from Aleah Collette, asking me to meet her at her family’s ancestral home.
I didn’t know what to expect after all this time. What could she possibly want from me. So I went. God help me, but I went.
She started out by telling how she still had lingering thoughts about me… how she’d been ‘given’ dream visions about me… us… a life we could have had, had she not been turned off by the awkwardness between us. The dreams she described sounded like the life we once shared, in another life.
I should have walked out… should have told her that it was all a dream and she should forget about me the same way she once told me to forget about her. Instead… well… I was weak. I kissed her. I allowed myself to kiss her in return. It might have escalated, except for the angry ghost of her father, Tomax, interrupting us.
“I know who you are, son of Caine!” he screamed at me. “Stay off this path! It leads to ruin!”
Frightened, I fled.
At home, Blue was waiting for me. She could tell that I was upset, but didn’t know why. What could I tell her? I had been weak. I had been lured into a falsehood by the memories of my past.
Guilt held my tongue. I carried on my day to day in silence… unable to confide in my girlfriend, unable to confide in anyone.
I vowed to be better, vowed to stay away from Aleah and heed her father’s warning.
She, on the other hand, had vowed to do the opposite. She wanted to know what the ghost had meant, and was now stalking me. Showing up where I was, showing up at my house. I was so afraid that she would tell Blue what we had done.
What had I done? This path leads to ruins, Tomax had said. It felt like it leading there already.
I began to wish that new cow plant I was growing would eat me, and release me from this cycle of hell. I could start over… again… and do better.
But I couldn’t quite bring myself to do that. I already mourned one set of children. Two would be the death of my heart.
And it was Elias’s birthday, too… with Delia’s coming soon on its heels… and Winterfest, as well.
I wish I could say that I enjoyed Winterfest, or even my Delia’s birthday, but the truth was, the guilt and fear I was feeling wore on me in so many ways. It was foolish and I didn’t know what to do about it now.
Walk the dog, fight the fire which erupted from the washing machine… feed (and be fed to) the cowplant… how Blue suffer the same fate… teach my daughter the finer arts of chess and logic… all things to fill the days while I waited for Aleah to come and destroy my world with a few words.
The first cowplant died. I would need to get another one to continue the research I was doing.
Somehow life went on without our world come crashing down on my head. I should tell Blue what happened, but I don’t know how.